Monday, January 4, 2010

Paranoia vs. Intellect

I went out Saturday night to a club with fifteen friends (including Nick! I actually got my boyfriend to go out to a club and he didn't hate it! He drank a rum and coke! I drank a vodka cranberry!) and had a fabulous time and didn't get home until like 4 am but I can't write about it yet because I am in that stage of paranoid anxiety of waiting to see if I get sick because my friend who I danced with all night and shared waters with threw up in the car on the way home and has a stomach bug and now I am freaking out that I might get it. 

The last time I had a stomach bug was right before my stomach got BAD, and  OW, and DAMN, GO TO A DOCTOR WOMAN. I think my freaking out now is because I am worrying that if I get it again; will my stomach be able to cope and get back to how it is now, or will I be faced with months and months again of slowly recuperating? THAT IS THE QUESTION THAT IS SLOWLY DRIVING ME BATSHIT INSANE. 

I used to know my body and feel comfortable that I could fight things off, and even if I was sick, pshaw! it would be just for a day. I will get better! I am Supergirl! RAWR. Now, dealing with my body up and misbehaving and making me question my stomach and my brain and anxiety and jeeebus gawd, I need a chill-pill. 

So. I am sorry, everybody that has to deal with me and listen to me whining and complaining and freaking out. I'm so sorry, Nick, that you are stuck with a pain in the butt girlfriend that isn't much fun because I am always feeling bad. I'm trying. Honest. 


Andra said...

:( Well first you shouldn't always be feeling bad about feeling bad! We are all here to support you no matter what, and no I'm not sick so you aren't going to be either! Give your little fighter antibodies more credit :)

Katie said...

Thank you babe! I hope you continue to be fine and that I don't get sick either. Mwah!

Janet said...

I think Anna got sick because of an allergic reaction to the walnuts in the muffins -- she got hives in her throat and stuff. So you're probably fine! *hugs* Don't stress... like Andra said, woohoo fighter antibodies!