. . . Pirate Kirk.
Katie: So tell me, Pirate Kirk, where did you come from?
PK: My trillion fellow 2009 siblings and I lived in a cardboard box behind the sales counter at Anchor Blue. We used to be sold for $12.95, but at the turn of the year became too old to be sold. Everyone wanted 2010 gorillas!
Katie: So what happened? The INTERNET WANTS TO KNOW, Pirate Kirk.
PK: They gave us away free to good homes after the customers spent over 35 dollars! By the way, my original name was not Pirate Kirk. It was Blue Gorilla.
Katie: Indeed? How did your odd name come to be?
PK: This silly girl in the picture above insisted to someone called "Nick" (obviously a superior species of gorilla as he has more hair than the female, though still not nearly as much as me) that they come up with a suitable name for me.
Katie: She sounds very sensible with impeccable taste! Blue Gorilla is a horribly generic name.
PK: So, she wanted Pirate because I am from Anchor Blue and anchors make her think of ships which equals pirate somehow in her twisted mind. The sensible boy held out for a "K" sounding name because "K" names are superior.
Katie: He is sounding smarter and smarter. I like this fellow!
PK: They tried out endless "K" name varieties but none suited a Blue Gorilla of my intelligence and beauty. Finally, at the end of the car ride, just as the silly female was becoming hysterical and insisting that they decide on a name that was not "Garbage Bag" or the French word for "blue" which sounds like somebody sneezing, she was struck by inspiration. Kirk, for Captain Kirk of Star Trek (obviously) would be the perfect name for me! The ladies love me.
Katie: Thank you, Pirate Kirk, that concludes our interview for tonight. Enjoy your stay at Casa Katie.