10 Secrets to a Fabulous Night Out

You know how some nights you go out and it ends up being a dud? But sometimes it is amazing-- the guys are hot, the drinks are great (and cheap!) and the music is exactly what you wanted! None of that awkward walking into a dead club with weird music and creepy forty-year-old guys leering at you and wanting to dance.

So! 10 Secret to a Fabulous Night Out is really a series of secrets that probably are not that secret! Yet here they are in a list form, for your enjoyment. You're welcome.

1) Only go out with the girlfriends that want to dance. If one of your friends is feeling tired, or sick, or has a history of going to a club just to sit down and making you feel obliged to sit with her. . . she should stay home. A group of three is perfect for keeping creeps away: You evaluate the guy, pull your friend away if necessary, and wink if he's hot so she knows to keep dancing.

2) Check the clubs website to see if they have a special going on that night. Chances are that if they advertise for College Greek's in free, or mini-dresses in free, there will be more people which means much more fun!

3) For the love of God, get on the guest list. Snag one of the club recruiters and get his number, call around, or go to the website and find it. If you can get in free there is no reason to hand over any money!

4) Wear the tiny dress you aren't sure about but DO NOT wear high heels unless you KNOW you can dance for hours without orthopedic surgery. (Or have amazingly sweet friends who let you borrow their flats.) I recommend wedges.

5) Do not wear thin fabric. You will sweat through it and then be too grossed out to feel sexy.

6) Do wear boy cut underwear, and not a thong. Just trust me.

7) If a guy offers you a free drink, say yes. If he is cute, feel free to stay with him while drinking and possibly dance with him when he asks. If he isn't cute, feel free to go find your friends. You said yes to a drink, not a date.

8) Kick ass whenever necessary. If a guy is getting too handsy and won't take a hint (or even a warning) you are totally within your rights to tell him off. And don't be afraid to say "No, thanks" if you just aren't interested in dancing with a guy right then. Sometimes it is just way easier to dance with your friends.

9) Use the bathroom excuse often and do not be ashamed. You don't want to dance anymore? You need the bathroom. You're too hot? You need the bathroom. You want to squeal over the hot guy that was dancing with you? Better go to the bathroom. You're dripping sweat and need to stick paper towels under your armpits? You know where to go.

10) The best secret to a fabulous night out is simply going out with the intent to have a fabulous time! Loosen up, have a drink or two if it helps, and enjoy being with your girlfriends. The guys will notice and if you look happy you are way more approachable so you will be dancing with them so much more!

(I'm totally going out this Saturday with my best dancing girlfriends and the club is having a Greek night so all the fraternity guys will be there! Wheee!)

A Few of My Favorite Things

Whenever I leave Nick's house at night for the ten minute drive back home, he always stops at the top of his stairs and waits for me to back up and start to pull out, and then waves and I blow him a kiss. I love that. 

Waking up with my cats sleeping next to me. Io laid claim to the pillow I don't use (I have a queen-size bed) and Oz sleeps by my feet. Also, snuggling with my foster kittens. 

The book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon--if you want to read a few thousand pages of fascinating historical fiction, time-travel, medical treatments, absolutely fascinating characters and complex plots, and romance, this is the series for you. 

The TV series Burn Notice, Firefly, and Buffy. 

Baking yummilicious treats (and trying to keep them healthy) (and sometimes really not). Pumpkin pie tonight--but more often brownies! 

Amalah, the first ever blog I knew about and read and got invested in. She went from a hip wino that was good at falling down and making it funny to a hip mom with two kids, one of which has SPD and some other learning issues. Pretty much daily I check Amalah's blog and click on her Advice Smackdown, and the Mamapop gossip site that she helps run. 

Dooce, one of the world's most popular bloggers, who has some ridiculous number of people following her. But she is hilarious and witty and snarky, very blunt about being ex-Mormon and her treatment for mental illness. 

A new hilarious blog that is illustrated (with the best expressions a near-stick figure can have) is Hyperbole and a Half. I just found her and she made me laugh so hard I couldn't resist adding her to my blog listing. 

Hmm. I'm sure I have more faves but I can't think of them now. I love being lazy, watching movies, reading, eating, sleeping, and day-dreaming. 

Proud

. . . because I fixed the toilet! Me! Our toilet hasn't worked right since we had our bathroom remodeled and Troy and I haven't been able to use it for weeks because we were lazy and didn't want to fix it and I finally rolled up my metaphorical sleeves and dove in. Whee!

I also deep cleaned Mom and Dad's bathroom and my own! They're soooo beautiful and sparkly. No one is allowed to use them ever again.

Wondering . . .

. . . How often the seats at college lecture halls are cleaned. The "yellow" is actually dirt-encrusted. Yick!

. . . If I should feel guilty for flipping out at Dad and Troy and Quentin for eating the last of the chicken pot pie, and my scones, and snacking on my muffins THAT I MAKE SPECIFICALLY FOR ME AND MY SPECIAL STUPID DIET.

. . . Why I started tearing up and had to bite my lip not to cry when my Micro neighbor told me how they ended up with their foster son.

. . . How sore my arm will be tomorrow from the H1N1 flu shot I got, and whether or not I will get any of the side effects from that and/or the seasonal flu mist I got today.

. . . If my parents will end up going on that 23 day cruise from China to Alaska for their 30th anniversary. I hope so! It sounds fabulous!

The Bachelorette

For Kristin's bachelorette party we had a girls night out--we started at Andra's house drinking margaritas with penis straws and eating bagel bites before we played any games. The games were: molding play-doh into the most realistic penis (Liz won), "Pin the Junk on the Hunk" (sexy poster guy with the groom Kenny's face pasted on), and the card game spoons played with pornographic cards. Then we ate a delicious lasagna and garlic bread and salad dinner, and cut into the two penis cakes, before we went upstairs to get beautified. 

Ta-daaa! Red lipstick and gloss, "Bachelorette party: Enter at your own risk" caution tape as sashes, penis stickers with hooker names (I'm Ginger) and four inch heels. Kristin is wearing the "Bride to be . . ." t-shirt and a crown. 

We drove to Barcode (the 107.9 radio station club) in Sacramento. On the way, we stopped at 7-11 and trooped inside for some drinks, and got a LOT of stares and a "I wish I had my camera" comment. 

If you go to a club, pretend it is your birthday or Bachelorette party, because we got in after waiting through about 1/3 of the very long line. A guy came up and was like "Come with me" and Andra was like "Are you serious?" And he was like "Yeah, I work here." And then we got in! 

We danced from like 11-1:30am and had a lot of fun. I love Anna for trading me shoes sometimes, and saving my feet from my evil heels. I had also forgotten how grabby guys got at clubs (Shut up, it's been a while). We got back to Andra's and then I drove home with my penis whistle souvenir and caught about 4 hours sleep before getting up to go to work. Fun! 

Amazing!

I have just discovered something so absolutely on the edge-of-your-seat thrilling that I had to share right away. 

Ready?

My front door key . . . also unlocks the back door!!! 

AAIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!

Okay, wait, don't run away! I have a point! Our front door sticks sometimes--since Troy and I were in middle school/high school we would walk home and sometimes have to break in through a window to get inside because our key wouldn't turn enough in the lock. I just came home from work to discover that my key was again being temperamental. I called Troy, and he told me Dad just told him that we can unlock the back door. 

So! 

I ran to the back door (it's very hot out) and the key worked! Then I groaned. "Troy, it's not gonna work!" 

"Why?" My poor brother was baffled. 

"The filing cabinet door is out, there is a painting leaning on the door, and the treadmill is in the way!"

"Well . . . figure something out!"

So I did. My hand barely fit through the door so I could inch by inch scoot the filing cabinet closed. I pushed the painting over and the treadmill was juuust far enough away that I slowly squeeze (look for BBC update soon) myself through . 

"I DID IT! I DID IT! TROY! IT WORKED!!! Woo-hoo!!!" 

And now you all understand why this bit of news is so amazing. IT GOT ME INTO THE AIR CONDITIONING. ^_-