Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Paranoia from an Anxious Mind

I am a nervous person even without the anxiety that developed from my IBS. I bit my nails, I forbade my brother from doing anything dangerous like jumping out of airplanes or joining the military, I would get nervous stomachaches whenever I got a new boyfriend (on an interesting note, I did not get a stomachache when I started dating Nick. It's meant to beeee!) My mind can take a perfectly normal situation and make it into a scenario full of DOOM.

Yesterday, Nick was supposed to pick me up at 7:30AM for us to go to school. He is never, ever late, whereas I am a chronically late kind of girl. Yesterday, Nick was late. Allow me to show you the progression of my paranoid mind.

7:30 AM-- Where is Nick? He's never late. Oh well, at least I have time to put on make-up!

7:32 AM-- He's still not here. I can re-heat my peppermint tea!

7:33 AM-- Do I have everything? He's going to be grumpy if I take a ten more minutes to get ready if we're already running late. Must find yoga mat!

7:36 AM-- Still not here?! Maybe I should call his house. No, that would be too panicky. Be calm, Katie.

7:37 AM-- What if something happened? He's never this late! Ohgodohgodohgod. Must be calm.

7:38 AM-- HE'S DEAD! Dead in a ditch on the road! Crashed into a telephone pole! I'll call his cell, and if he doesn't answer I'll know that he's lying unconscious in his car's wreckage with gasoline seeping out of the tank about to light on FIRE!

7:39 AM-- I'm calling his house to see what time he left so I can calculate how likely it is that he's dead in a ditch at this very moment. No, Katie, be calm. That's unlikely. He's a good driver. Wait another minute to see if he shows up, then call.

7:40 AM-- Still no Nick oh god even though he's a good driver maybe someone else hit him oh my god I have to call his house right this instant my stomach hurts ow oh god--

7:40 and 43 seconds, Nick pulls up. I melt into a puddle of profoundly relieved goo and then pull myself together, order myself to not fling myself into his arms because then he'll think I'm weird, climb into the car and finally hiss, "Never be late again because I can't take it!" He just laughed and said he was only late because he forgot he was picking me up today and got onto the freeway before he remembered. We'll see what he thinks about me after he reads this post. ^_^


Nick said...

already knew you were crazy, this is nothing new. :)

Katie said...

Hee. Love you! :)