Helping Mom Pack

. . . is exhausting work. His arm is flung out in protest. (On mom's new silk skirt.)

Does that match? Katie says yes, Oz says sleeeepy.

Oz wishes my mom and dad an awesome trip, reminds them to bring him some fish treats, and is now going to take a nap on this convenient pile of folded clothes.

Love you!

Resolved

Just turned down a cruise to Europe in favor of getting two AS degrees and being able to afford a couch for our future apartment. Currently in shock. Wondering if I made the right choice. Minutes after hanging up the phone with my aunt to tell her no, thank you, I had a screechy conversation with my mom and Quentin and Troy in which I questioned every part of that decision. Still feeling screechy and like I might pull out my hair.

New Katie Slogan:

I'd rather be in Rome.

Conflicted

Imagine coming home and discovering that you have been invited on a cruise to Europe. The cruise itself is paid for, you just have to pay half of the airfare, and you'd be going with people that you know and love. Sounds too good to pass up, right?

Gah, I don't know.

My aunt and her family have an extra bed in their cabin that I could take, which is so awesome. I've cruised with them a bunch before and always have a great time. And it's EUROPE! We'd be stopping in Gibraltar, Alicante, Barcelona, Marseille, Florence, and Rome, and spending four days in Rome after the cruise before flying home. I am dying to go.

BUT. (Always a but. Stupid buts.) I'm saving up to move out with Nick. We already feel poor, and I've stopped spending my money, and I'm plotting ways to make more money over the summer. This trip I would be paying about 450 for airfare, a hundred or two for souvenirs, and god knows how much for trip excursions. I figure I'm looking at about a thousand dollars, which is about three months rent. (EEK!) (Nick seconds this EEK, but in a more manly way.)

Everything else is totally working out--my work is so understanding (I think my supervisor would go instead of me if she could ^_^), my yoga instructor says I can just do some extra work on my own to make up for the missed classes, and my online classes I could do on the ship.

I did wake up this morning and suddenly remember that I have to take a microbiology final exam for my Incomplete in microbiology from last semester (when I was sick with IBS/nervous stomach/anxiety and fell behind) and that I would be missing that test. So I wouldn't get my AS degrees that I was planning on getting come May. (Come to think of it, I think I'd miss the whole stage walking/accepting my degrees altogether if I go. Jeez.)

I am conflicted. I want to go so, so bad. It's just really bad timing. I don't know what I'm going to do, and I have to decide by tonight.

So excited . . .

. . . because Nick and I are getting an apartment together! We've talked about moving in together for a long time but there was not good reason to because we were going to a school that was just a twenty minute drive away from our parent's homes. Now that Nick was accepted to a CA city college that's an hour away from our homes in good traffic, we have a good reason! He starts working on his engineering degree in fall '10 and I start the fall after for my teaching degree. I'll miss living at home and not paying for everything but I'm so excited to get our own place and live with Nick!

Paranoia from an Anxious Mind

I am a nervous person even without the anxiety that developed from my IBS. I bit my nails, I forbade my brother from doing anything dangerous like jumping out of airplanes or joining the military, I would get nervous stomachaches whenever I got a new boyfriend (on an interesting note, I did not get a stomachache when I started dating Nick. It's meant to beeee!) My mind can take a perfectly normal situation and make it into a scenario full of DOOM.

Yesterday, Nick was supposed to pick me up at 7:30AM for us to go to school. He is never, ever late, whereas I am a chronically late kind of girl. Yesterday, Nick was late. Allow me to show you the progression of my paranoid mind.

7:30 AM-- Where is Nick? He's never late. Oh well, at least I have time to put on make-up!

7:32 AM-- He's still not here. I can re-heat my peppermint tea!

7:33 AM-- Do I have everything? He's going to be grumpy if I take a ten more minutes to get ready if we're already running late. Must find yoga mat!

7:36 AM-- Still not here?! Maybe I should call his house. No, that would be too panicky. Be calm, Katie.

7:37 AM-- What if something happened? He's never this late! Ohgodohgodohgod. Must be calm.

7:38 AM-- HE'S DEAD! Dead in a ditch on the road! Crashed into a telephone pole! I'll call his cell, and if he doesn't answer I'll know that he's lying unconscious in his car's wreckage with gasoline seeping out of the tank about to light on FIRE!

7:39 AM-- I'm calling his house to see what time he left so I can calculate how likely it is that he's dead in a ditch at this very moment. No, Katie, be calm. That's unlikely. He's a good driver. Wait another minute to see if he shows up, then call.

7:40 AM-- Still no Nick oh god even though he's a good driver maybe someone else hit him oh my god I have to call his house right this instant my stomach hurts ow oh god--

7:40 and 43 seconds, Nick pulls up. I melt into a puddle of profoundly relieved goo and then pull myself together, order myself to not fling myself into his arms because then he'll think I'm weird, climb into the car and finally hiss, "Never be late again because I can't take it!" He just laughed and said he was only late because he forgot he was picking me up today and got onto the freeway before he remembered. We'll see what he thinks about me after he reads this post. ^_^