I'll bet reading this makes you itchy!

Because really, who can read about fleas without suddenly thinking that every tiny itch and hair on your body is a flea? I sure can't. And we do have fleas. In our apartment. Crawling on us. Sucking our blood.

(Take a moment to scratch. I don't mind.)

They seem to be concentrating on me, mostly. Nick has a few bumps on his ankles, but he never finds them. I've sat on the floor and immediately found three jumping on my legs. I sat on the couch and found one on my foot. I left to go to school and found one on my arm. I range from thinking it's not that big a deal--they aren't the kind that has diseases, so all they are is pests--but as soon as I find one on me I go through a period of shakehairshakeshairSCRATCHITCOULDBEAFLEA! and paranoia. Right now my calf feels like there might be a flea on it. Now my foot. Now my toe. Now my thigh. Now my ear. And I go from trying to ignore it because I'm probably making myself itch to MUST LOOK AT ITCHY SPOT TO TRY TO FIND THE FLEA. And then Nick asks for my help cleaning the kitchen because he knows I'm compulsively googling "How to kill all fleas" and "declaring war on fleas in your home" which just makes me itch more, because I'm reading about fleas jumping around other people's houses, EW.

(shudders. scratches.)

We have flea bombed the apartment, and that worked for about a day. Then the pest control guy came out with his chemicals and sprayed our whole carpet and patio. We thought they were gone, I told mom they were gone, and fine damn minutes later there is a fucking flea on my ankle, and now I am paranoid again, and trying to figure out how long after spraying it is normal to have fleas. Does it take a while for the chemicals to kill them? Mr. Pest Control Guy said to call him if we still had fleas in 3 weeks. Does that mean today is okay? Oh God my knee is itchy and now my chin stopitkatie.

So! I hope you're all good and itchy now and looking suspiciously at your animals. You're welcome. Thanks for reading. Kisses!